How do I want to feel?

In the quest for better self understanding one must be able to examine his or her emotional health and emotional goals. Embedded in the questions “Who am I?” and “What do I want?” are questions about one’s emotional health and goals, “How do I feel?” and “How do I want to feel?” However, these can be difficult questions to respond to, as often, when one is suffering, they have a fantasy of “being happy”.

Many often envision infinite wells of elation in the face of life’s complication. These fantasies become difficult to attain, because they are inaccurate perceptions of emotional health. Instead, the goal of emotional health is having the flexibility to experience a range of emotions in response to different situations but always being able to return to a neutral contentedness.

What does this mean? When one is struggling with chronic depression, anxiety, anger they are not only restricted in their experience of emotions, but when not responding to any stimuli, they find themselves in an uncomfortable emotional state. 

So when you envision emotional health, consider it as an ability to respond to life experiences with emotions such as joy, sadness, anxiety, and anger but then being able to return to a more neutral state of contentedness that allows you to move through life without chronic emotional discomfort.

Adaobi Anyeji, Phd
Clinical Psychologist
The Blue Clinic
Specializing in the treatment of sadness, depression, worrying, anxiety
Los Angeles based Private Psychology Practice